Most people have a little filter that rest in between their brain and their mouth..... For some reason, I was born without such a filter or at least the common sense to use it. Regardless of the reasons why, many times my mouth has written a check, my ass could not cash. Well, .... the checks got cashed, but the cost was so very high.
Pride....... I have let pride cost me dearly in years gone by. My wife could step in at this point and calm me by asking one simple question: ".....is this really the hill you want to die on?"
Looking back over my life, the mistakes of youth ........that is complete BULLSHIT. I say the mistakes of youth, when the reality is I was well above the legal age of consent when I made decisions that were absolutely stupid. I owe my wife a lot for teaching me how to be an adult in regards to arguing.
There was a time that once I had formed an opinion that was it..... I did not want to hear your opinions, or reasons.....no matter how valid they might be, I made up my mind and that is the way it would be. Actions like those have cost me dearly over the years..... Without a doubt there are people no longer in my life because I stood firm on one position or another!
Was I right....my opinions I mean..... Sometimes, ok....here is where cocky Jeff comes out, my opinions were correct the vast majority of the times (not always-but most of the time). However, when I was younger I failed to answer the following question:
"......do I want to be right and alone?....." It is easy to say ".....well, if I am right I am right!!!" But the truth is, in maturity I have discovered sometimes life is just easier if you let the wrong things happen.....and enjoy life. My life has seen people walk away and never speak to me again...... sometimes they were right, others they were clearly wrong - but the real question is was the subject at hand worth losing them forever. Hmm, do you want Cocky Jeff to answer.... or Oldman Jeff to speak his words of wisdom.
Can you think back to a time when you stood your ground, picked a "hill to die on" and now that moment in time embarrasses you?
I wear a wedding band on each hand. (I lost a little weight and my real wedding band kept falling off - which led me to buy a silicone band)
You and I could pretend I wear a silicone wedding band because I am always in the gym lifting weights - but we all know that is complete bullshit. The truth is my band cost about $2,000 and getting a smaller spare would eat into my Big-Mac budget at McDonald's.... and truth is it takes years to build and maintain a body like mine.....and I can't be wasting away to nothing over a ring - so silicone it is.
But why 2 rings, and one on each hand? The ring on my left hand says I stood up in a church before my family, friends & God, promised to love, honor, cherish and obey my wife to death do we part. The ring on my right hand reminds me of a ring that use to reside on my right hand, but went away because of a "hill I chose to die on."
Anytime I feel a need to argue with Tonya (my wife) I look down at the colorful ring on my right hand and I am instantly reminded I want to love and be loved by Tonya more than I need to be right......
Do Tonya and I still argue.....well Hell yes we do, and I am still right all of the time! But, more often than not we do what she wants and life works out just fine. (I will of course bitch to the kids.....but life moves on).
Do I wish I could go back and correct my mistakes? It doesn't matter what I wish......the world doesn't work that way. So, if you too have picked the wrong hill to die on..... don't fret the past, put a ring on your right hand and always remember why it's there.
